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The Completely Ordinary Thoughts Of Saskia Lane

my boy <3
BOOKED ‘WATCH THE THRONE’ TODAY 
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

ishipanythingthatbreathes:

Press play and relieve your childhood.

image

OMFG BEST THING EVER.

(Source: simplejustin)

492729 plays

(Source: daily-disney)

fuckwit:

it’s funny how i was the fastest sperm and now i barely move at all

(Source: sillyjews)

30313 notes
reblogged from: giveitt0mebaby
i cybered on omegle today You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot